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Navy Seal

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.


We're All Dead

Did you know that stingray attacks are incredibly rare? It's almost impossible to run into a situation where a stingray will actually attack you, unless you're being an absolute asshole. Not only that, but the venom contained in their stinger can't really kill you, unless it specifically targets vital areas of your body. So Steve Irwin died because the stingray specifically stung him in the fucking heart, with the precision of a sniper. I think that can't be a coincidence, i think somehow, it was fated for him to die that day. He died in one of the most specific, quick and irreversible ways a man can die, after surviving decades handling much more aggressive and dangerous animals his entire life. For some reason it was decided that he would have to die that day. Do you ever think about this shit? That you could live a crazy ass life, or a completely safe life, be outside or stay inside all day, and it doesn't matter because one day it will be your turn, and you'll just die. Your life will end and there will be nothing you can do to predict when, or how, it could be from the stupidest shit 1000 other people will experience multiple times and it won't kill them, but for a series of circumstances it will end up killing you. Isn't it really disturbing to think about? It's almost like we don't really have free will.


Gr8 B8

Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cre8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8


I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.


Leonardo da Vinci

"wtf his ult did like 3k damage how is that legit" - leonardo da vinci 1496, founder of the Illuminati


Weeaboo

I'm looking for a bento box, it cant be pinku (that's Japanese for pink) or any girl color. It has to be of 2 or more kotoba (that's Japanese for 2 compartments) and has be be chibi (small) sized. And has to be really kawaii (cute). Also It has to be about 10-20 bux. And you have to post pics of it first (i want to make shure it's kawaii [cute]). And it would be nice if it came with matching chopstick holder (WITH chopsticks). OH! and it CANNOT have any cartoon pictures, or be made out of plastic. It has to be made of ceramic, or something like that. Also it would be nice if it was made in japan. and not in china or corea (Korea) or whatever. I have found a bento box similar to the one im describing in e-bay, but it was 1 kotoba, and i don't want my gohan (rice) to touch my other things (it can get wet and i would not like that, plus 2 compartments looks more kawaii)


I sexually Identify as tyler1

I sexually identify as tyler1. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of running it down mid and typing "hehe xd" to boosted animals. People say to me that a beta becoming an alpha god is impossible and that I'm fucking retarded, but I don't care, I'm an alpha. I'm having an engineer install a McChicken dispenser and an Oreo McFlury maker in my room. From now on I want you guys to call me "tyler1" and respect my right to catch axes and flame needlessly. If you can't accept me you're an dravenphobe and need to check your alpha privilege. hehe xd.


I sexually identify as the Sun

I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000°C. From now on I want you guys to call me "Sol" and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably skin cancer. If you can't accept me you're a fusionphobe and need to check your celestial privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.


Islam

Muslim isn't a race it's a religion but also it's a culture. A brutal culture full of low IQ brainwashed puritan morons yelling about their rape god and blowing eachother up. All cultures are cancerous but islamic culture may be the worst of them all, those collectivist barbarians should burn at the stake for treading on the freedom of individuals.